peace of mind


Ever feel stressed when you walk in the door at the end of the day? Is home not the peaceful, serene place you hoped it would be? Wonder how all that stuff wound up there? Wonder what is in the stuff that wound up there? Need more peace of mind?

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Lately I’ve noticed on social media and in real life a lot of people being more aware of things; aware of the fact that their home is not a source of peace, their finances are a hot mess, or they’re just fed up with all of the extra stuff they don’t understand listed on the label of the products they use every day in their home.

I also see a lot of people who seem to think that is just how it is. These are common excuses I hear and read.

  • How it is isn’t good enough!
  • They’d like to get more organized, but they have so much stuff and they “need” it all at some point so why get rid of it?
  • Everyone is in debt, so at least they’re not alone in their situation. Non-toxic products cost so much more money, why try.
  • The government should just write off our student loan debt
  • While we’re at it they should ban certain ingredients (no disagreement from me on this one).
  • Besides, with those student loan payments, there’s no way you can afford non-toxic, cleaner products. It’s just not true friends.

What if I told you that I have three simple (notice I didn’t say easy) tips to help you with all three of those problems? Give you peace of mind in your home, your finances, and your health? You have the power to do that yourself.

I’m going to let you in on the big secret. Maybe you already know it or maybe you never thought of it this way, but you are already the gatekeeper of your home. You just need to learn how to be a better one.

The World’s Best Automated Proofreader


I’m not saying sell everything and live on a bus, although being a skoolie does look pretty amazing (no plans for that here). I am saying you need to bite the bullet so to speak and start decluttering. Sell it all but the kitchen sink if you have to. We’re after counter space. Breathing room. Find a little of that and you’ll find a little peace of mind.

This can be a daunting task, but you landed in a great spot to find more information on minimalism, decluttering and even organization. It happens to be a passion of mine. Sometimes in order to be a better gatekeeper, we need to kick some stuff out of the gate. A lot more stuff in some cases than others. That’s okay. Start small, see how it feels, and then go from there.


Before you put anything in your cart read the label. If you don’t understand what’s in it Google it. If you don’t like what’s in it don’t buy it. It’s as simple as that. It’s your job as the gatekeeper to keep anything you deem harmful, inappropriate, or contradictory to your goals out of your home and budget.

This is one of those times Google is your best friend; google every ingredient, process, or item you don’t understand. Check a product with the Environmental Working Group prior to making the purchase if you’re not sure about the ingredient list. You’ll be amazed at how much you don’t buy when you pay attention to the labels.

If the labels with items you do approve of come attached with a high price tag weigh your priorities. Are you willing to spend more money on products you know will meet your standards or will you spend time to DIY some solutions of your own? Be sure you budget your time and money accordingly. You can also check out my post Keeping a Non-Toxic Home and search the Frugal & Oily category for more info. I also have some frugal and non-toxic DIYs. I mix my own dish soap, hand soap, as well as face and body wash using non-toxic bases and a few drops of essential oil.


Start saying it more often. It is amazing the freedom that comes with one simple word. Don’t want it in the house? On the kids’ calendar? Don’t want to keep spending money like you’re in congress? Then don’t.

The hard truth is that every, “yes,” is a “no,” to something else. Choose your yeses and nos carefully. You don’t get more time back with your kids when you overload the schedule, you don’t build up your emergency fund when you max out the credit card every month, and you don’t pay off debt unless you quit adding to the total. It’s a hard mindset shift for sure, but it does get easier with time.

Choose what matters most to you and your family. Prioritize around what matters most and say no to things that don’t align. Adjust the budget, clear the schedule, and hold fast as a family. One shift in thinking, one decision made more intentionally, and then the next. Slowly but surely, one step at a time you will feel yourself becoming the gatekeeper your family needs at home and peace of mind won’t be too far behind.


minimalist gift ideas


What do you get a minimalist? You may think the obvious answer would be nothing, but that isn’t necessarily the case. The first rule of thumb? Ask. The second rule of thumb? Read on for four minimalist gift ideas that are sure to please. I’ve got you covered.

If a minimalist in your life is going through a purging phase or maybe a clutter bug in your life is going through a change of heart on the familiar hoarding ways they may not welcome a gift. The idea may stress them out. I know most things would’ve stressed me out when I decided to adopt a More Minimalist Approach in my life.

Another thing to consider is that a move toward minimalism may also come with a style change. Someone who preferred floral patterns or abstracts may now love clean lines or empty space on the wall. A well-intended but misguided gift may just end up in next week’s donate pile.

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Just because you’re a minimalist doesn’t mean you don’t like books. Did you know you can gift an Audible membership? You can choose 3, 6, or 12-month memberships.

You can also gift a Prime membership if your budget allows.


Did you know you can email a $25 gift card to stores like Lowe’s or Starbucks from Amazon? There are many other Gift Cards” rel=”noopener noreferrer”>gift cards from popular restaurants and retailers available.


A minimalist would probably prefer the gift of a rare experience such as a rejuvenating facial, mani/pedi, or relaxing massage. Hauling all your unwanted possessions out of the house to donate can be hard work! When giving gifts of this type be sure to check if they have a favorite place to go or that the place you choose is in line with their values. Splurging on a company that uses less than natural products may not sit well with your minimalist.


I have been known to take friends who do not need/want anything, in particular, out for dinner and to catch up. This is a great way to celebrate the friend and get in some quality time. Time is another thing a typical minimalist appreciates by the way. A lot of minimalists let go of things to gain more time and human connection.

If you understand what motivates the minimalist in your life and adjust your thinking accordingly you may even come up with a few ideas of your own.


get organized

You may be wondering about the title of this post – I just preached to get rid of all your clutter to free up space, so what could I possibly have left to organize and store? Quite a bit actually.

We still live in our house. We still have kids. I couldn’t donate them even if they are the biggest source of clutter in my house. So we organize. On a dime.

I posted in my Instagram stories during Clutter Week about a few purchases. Yes, I bought things while I was decluttering. They were planned purchases and I spent a minimal amount of money. Less than $10 came out of the budget. This may sound petty, but we had our DVDs stored in bins. The bins were chosen for our first place, a duplex, where we had a modern color scheme of red, black, and beige. Now that we are settled into our farmhouse I am decorating mostly in blues. The red and brown bins in my blue and gray living room irked me every time I looked at them. 

Get Organized in 3 Easy Steps

Step One – Declutter

The first step you’ve (hopefully) already done! Declutter your stuff! Get rid of what you don’t use so you can make room for what you do! If you haven’t already done this go back and read the Clutter Week posts to get an idea of how to get started.

Step 2 – Decant Some Categories

This is a fancy way of saying to take bulky stuff out of its packaging when possible. With food, it may mean storing snacks in clear containers that make it easier to look in the cabinet and see what you need. Then you can recycle the original packaging.

With CDs (if you still have or buy those) it will look like taking all the discs and the cover art/tracklist out of the case. Hopefully, you live near a place that recycles them.

Step 3 – Group Items by Use

Group items by use after decluttering/decanting. In the kitchen, it makes sense to put all the decanted snacks together, dry foods together, spices, etc. All CDs and even DVDs can be stored in an organizing binder by category. I actually got rid of most of my CDs. They were already organized, but after spending a year in storage I didn’t miss any of them. I am good streaming.

get organized

I keep our movies organized in simple galvanized tubs that actually drink dispenser stands. They were exactly the right size and on clearance. Double win! All trilogies and sets are in one tin organized by set. Video games and Wii controllers are in the tin below.

get organized

I even got my oily items organized this past week when my handy hubby built me an oily shelf for the master bathroom. Now my oils and lotions aren’t taking up counter space or rolling around in a drawer. The best part was this little project was less than $10 to complete! One specialty router bit to make a groove for the large bottles to nestle in was all that was needed! This was accomplished with a coupon!

get organized

After our son’s accident, we decided not to take any more chances. My husband made a wall shelf out of leftover plywood from other projects to store detergent and other items that need to be kept out of little hands. You don’t have to spend a lot (or sometimes any) money to get organized. Paint supplies are kept on top so I don’t have unexpected art on the walls but don’t need to ask my husband to get in the attic if I feel the urge to get crafty.

Shop Your House First to Save Money

Sometimes I also shop around my house to see if there are storage items that can be used in a different way. We use bins in drawers and closets. Sometimes I borrow between rooms if I’ve decluttered one area and no longer need a bin or box but may need something in another room. For example, I kept eggs in a wire basket that proved too deep and resulted in a few cracked eggs. It made a perfect basket for K-cups in the cabinet.


Let’s Talk About Mental and Emotional Clutter

Mental and emotional clutter; the type of clutter that doesn’t take up any tangible space. It can be a nuisance. It can also be paralyzing. I know. I’ve experienced both ends of the gamut.

Guilt and regret are two of the most common times of emotional clutter. Feelings from the past can limit your future if you let them. If you experience these feelings it can contribute to physical clutter; holding onto items out of guilt because of who they were from is not healthy.

Chances are if your home is cluttered your thoughts are too; your environment contributes to your emotional state. If your house is cluttered and disorganized it may stress you out and give you feelings of anxiety about going home. I’ve been there. I used to feel so claustrophobic at home and at my parents’ house. I couldn’t change the situation I was in, but I could change my surroundings to bring more calm instead of chaos.

Consult an Expert to Deal with Mental and Emotional Clutter

According to Peter Walsh in Enough Already, “While the clutter you see around you might seem bad, even overwhelming and paralyzing, the physical clutter that fills our homes is nothing to the invisible clutter that fills our heads.” You have to deal with the emotional issues behind the clutter or you will simply accumulate more clutter again and again. I definitely play to read this book in-depth!

There are lots of methods to deal with mental and emotional clutter; you can meditate, diffuse a soothing oil or burn your favorite candle if you prefer (just make sure it’s non-toxic!), talk it out with friends, or see a counselor. There is no shame in the counseling game! I’ve done it before and I will do it again when and if needed.

Take the time to take care of yourself when you declutter and organize your home! Make room in the budget for things that help you feel relaxed and organized; that may look like money for a copay or always having some lavender on hand. Just be sure you deal with the root of your problems or you’ll never truly be free from clutter.


digital clutter

Digital Clutter Can’t be Ignored

Let’s talk about digital clutter; we know we have it, but how often do we do anything about it? I know I get really frustrated when I try to hop on my laptop or my PC to do one quick thing… and I can’t find what I need for all the digital clutter in the way. It is so frustrating, but thankfully so easy combat.

Monday I talked about Dealing With Physical Clutter. Just like purging and organizing our physical clutter, we have to occasionally purge and organize our digital clutter. It just makes life easier. It may seem easier to deal with our digital clutter when our phone is warning us it is dangerously low on storage space or our computer needs a good scan, but it really isn’t; when I first started this site I would get so frustrated when I wanted to upload a picture to a post. Where was it? Why are these old photos in this folder? Which phone did I take that photo with? What is that? It was so distracting and every little thing took longer than necessary.

Deal With it on Your PC

By not dealing with my clutter I was setting myself up for frustration every time I turned on the computer. It wasn’t going to go away on its own. Clutter by nature only gets worse when we don’t deal with it. I can either get my stuff organized or I can be frustrated every time I opened my laptop; luckily I chose the former.

I got started organizing photos on the laptop by making a new folder for “old photos to organize,” and I put all pictures that didn’t belong in existing folders in that folder and focused on the files I need to access now. Photos and files I needed first took priority and then I worked on the folder of older photos as I had time. Once I got my photos organized and I could sit down and get what I need to do done and move on in much less time. My focus is on the task at hand and not the task I put off causing me more work.

Deal With Digital Clutter on Your Phone

I have a problem with storage space on my phone. It is a problem I couldn’t foresee happening when I got my first smartphone. Why have a camera on a phone? How could I possibly use a computer’s worth of memory on a phone? The answer? Easily.

It wasn’t long before my phone started sending me warnings that I was dangerously low on space. What the danger is exactly other than not saving a picture I do not know, but I decided the status quo probably wasn’t working anymore. The phone wasn’t gonna give up til I gave it some space.

The first thing I did more for ease of changing phones also works great for managing space. I save all my contacts and photos to Google rather than my phone. Now I have access to everything on any device. This way I don’t have to wonder what phone I took a picture with (going forward at least). It’s all in the same cloud; I then made a point from time to time to back up and delete pictures from my phone before I started receiving dire warnings.

Having small children sometimes translates to terrible short term memory, so I tend to save texts I may need to remember. I have 400 plus texts in one conversation and can’t find ANYTHING let alone the time I’m supposed to meet so-and-so tomorrow before I know it. I do mass purges, but need to get in the habit of doing them on the regular.

Deal With it on Your Tablet

My tablet admittedly doesn’t get much use these days; it’s obvious when I see a three-year-old picture as the background. My youngest didn’t even make the cut for pictures! To be fair, I use a Kindle, which is a great reader, but not compatible with my Android phone like it was with my old Fire phone.

I don’t have much clutter on it, but I do need to update and delete apps to make it more useful to me now. I also need to find an app similar to Libby in the Amazon store as opposed to finding it on my phone in Libby and then defaulting it to open in the Kindle app so I can read it on a bigger screen. By making some simple changes I will get a lot more use out of the device and save my eyes the strain of constantly using my smartphone for everything.

Deal With That Digital Clutter for Clutter Week!

I’ve found that when I have my digital life in order I work faster, with more focus, and feel more inspired with the rest of my day. I didn’t spend all my time getting frustrated with not finding a file. That left me with less patience for my kids. A frustrated mommy is not the nicest mommy.

I’ll be over on Instagram today showing my digital decluttering in stories using #clutterweek. Use the same hashtag to show me your digital decluttering this week!


physical clutter

What Is Physical Clutter?

You know what it is; physical clutter is that “stuff” lying around your house, hiding in closets, toy boxes, maybe even lining the walls and floors… it gets everywhere. And let’s just be honest; that stuff cost money. Maybe you regret spending it or maybe you are hung up on the amount spent on it and don’t want to let it go.

As a noun, Merriam-Webster defines clutter as, “a crowded or confused mass or collection.” Crowded and confused? That sounds about right. As an intransitive verb, it is, ” to run in disorder.” If your life or home feels like a confused crowded mass that runs in disorder then you probably have a clutter problem.

Do you know what this cost?

That’s probably what you think when someone mentions getting rid of your clutter. I have a different question for you, “do you know what it costs you to keep?”

Is it costing a storage unit fee every month? Whatever it cost you to buy it’s costing more to store. Is it costing you your peace? Do you walk around the house wondering what happened? Do you feel overwhelmed at the sight of it all and think it’s hopeless? Does it make you not want to come home at the end of the day because you’ll be faced with all the… stuff? Worse yet, do you fight with your family over it? Chances are your physical clutter is costing you more than you realize. A lot more.

You Can Do Something About
Physical Clutter

When I think of clutter I’m reminded of a Dave Ramsey quote on debt that floats around a lot on social media, “The bad news is you are the problem. The great news is you are the solution.” I think the same principle applies to clutter. Heck, it probably applies to any and all our issues. But back to clutter…

You made the mess by bringing home too much stuff. Plain and simple. You let it come in the door. Stuff doesn’t walk in on its own, not even the stuff with its own legs. Someone has to get it in the house. Even if you weren’t doing the heavy lifting you allowed it in. Let that sink in for a minute. It’s not a very good feeling, is it?

I’ve been there. You can read all about my Beginnings of a More Minimalist Approach here. Trust me, I know it’s overwhelming. I know it can feel hopeless. I also know that just a ten-minute walk through of your house reevaluating things and picking even one thing per room to donate or sale can feel so good. Dare I say it even feels better than retail therapy? Yes, yes it does.

Unlike retail therapy, you aren’t spending money to temporarily fill a hole that probably requires actual work and time to fill properly, decluttering can help lighten the load physically and mentally. By freeing yourself of things that no longer serve you (if they ever did) you are also freeing yourself of the need to replace them with more things that won’t serve you. Stuff is stuff. The moment you realize that big changes start to happen in your home. And in you.

How to Rid Your Life of Physical Clutter

Yesterday I started working on decluttering my kitchen more. Today I hope to pick up some empty boxes so I can safely pack away glass items to donate. I don’t want any more accidents around here!

I have also started to declutter my bathrooms. Again. This is an ongoing process at our house since our kids are still young, but growing and our needs change. We need to reevaluate from time to time if things are still serving a purpose, and if is there is a need to replace with something that would sere a purpose better.

Most people have heard of the one-in-one-out principle where if you buy one new thing you need to get rid of one thing you already own, but if you haven’t done a thorough decluttering this isn’t going to work. You aren’t getting rid of any clutter this way; you’re simply maintaining the status quo with newer clutter.

One Room at a Time

Pick a room and spend some time in it evaluating the items in that room. Chances are you’ll fill a bag or box, or four rather quickly if you haven’t done an edit recently. Once you get some momentum going and see the items piling up in your donate and sell piles you will likely have some sobering realizations about your choices. That’s okay. You’ll also have feelings of relief and the ability to move around and breathe a little easier at home (literally and figuratively – stuff collects dust and just gets in the way!).

This will motivate you to keep going and will hopefully cause you to stop and think next time you pick up a trinket or doodad in the store and consider taking it to the register. You’ll start asking yourself if you really need something, if it will really bring you happiness in your home as opposed to buyer’s regret, or if it would be better left in the store.

You may even find that you aren’t as tempted to go to certain stores anymore. I know, shocker right? I didn’t use to think I could live without going to Target on a weekly basis, which is weird to me now because I survived most of, if not all of the first two decades of my life without one. Now I almost dread going; there is so much stuff. So much stuff.

Part of this comes with age, maturity, and minimalism, but part of it admittedly comes with having kids. I don’t want to go to most stores now! I have two little helpers eager to put anything and everything in our cart and bring it home.

If you have triggers or stores you know you don’t currently have the willpower to get out of with just the essentials you may just have to find a way to get around that for the time being. You can pick a new store you don’t like spending much time in but seem to find most if not all you need, or if you are brand loyal on certain things try putting in a grocery pickup or drive up order for what you actually need. I love doing this.

For example, I prefer up and up diapers for my youngest but don’t buy baby food or formula anymore so I don’t get free shipping or $15 or $20 gift cards for stocking up on baby food and diapers once a month like in the past. I have taken to placing a monthly drive up order and asking my husband to stop in on the way home from work. This saves time, money, and gas.

I have recently also started placing a grocery pickup order for things I can’t or don’t like to buy at my regular store. Any day I can avoid going into a supercenter is a good day!

Time to Get Started!

Ready to get started?! We’re here all week just for this! Even while I discuss different types of clutter I am re-decluttering my own home and showing you on my Instagram feed, @alifeonadime, my progress throughout different rooms. I’m not just talking about it I’m doing it with you.

Check out my decluttering efforts and post your own to share and motivate others using the hashtag #clutterweek. Happy decluttering everybody!


Let’s Talk Clutter and Excuses…

let's talk about clutter

Let’s talk about clutter. It is so easy to come up with excuses why you have clutter and why you don’t do anything about it, and they sound like, “We’re busy,” or, “We have kids. They come with a lot of stuff.” Maybe it’s, “But this may come in handy someday.”… Then there’s my personal favorite, “do you know what this cost?!” As if the fact that you wasted money on something means you’re saddled to it forever.

Murphy came to visit and threw our week off. I could use that as an excuse to put this off, but if I can do this with all the excitement going on at my house then what better way to show you that you can do it as well?!

Let’s Talk Clutter and its Consequences

The accident last week with our son (see my post on Our Emergency: Why We Cash Flow Medical Bills here) actually spurred us on in our decluttering efforts. We are now getting rid of a lot of glass items. Talk about clutter having potential consequences; someone at my house got hurt. That particular item wasn’t necessarily clutter, it was serving a purpose. But it did open our eyes to how much glass we have in our house that is not in use and how a lot of these items were probably another accident waiting to happen. Case in point, I had eight empty pasta sauce jars in a kitchen cabinet waiting to serve a purpose. I have more recycling than usual to take in this week.

We don’t want the stuff in our house anymore. Projects I was excited about are now on hold while I get rid of what I will no longer use and slowly replace all those glass jars with metal canisters. Looks like my gift cards from my taste testing side hustle are going to be put to good use!

I had quite a wish list on Amazon of all the glass meal prep containers and cleaning bottles I was hoping to purchase slowly, but those items are being removed and replaced with stainless steel and silicone options. You can see my list of recommended items on Amazon here. My wish list items aren’t on there because I haven’t bought and tried them yet. Whenever I try a product and love it I will add it to the list of items I recommend.

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Let’s Talk Clutter and What it Robs Us of

This leads me to a really good point on clutter; if you stop wasting money buying lots of little, cheap, random items and get rid of all that isn’t useful or valuable to you (and this looks different for everybody) you will have a better idea of what you truly want and need.

It is quite sobering if you try to imagine the sheer amount of money going out the door when those items were bought. You can recoup some of the money by selling items whenever possible, but keeping it in a closet or stacked up against the wall in a corner isn’t going to regain your money or your sanity. You have to let it go for that to happen.

Once you have your possessions down to a manageable amount you will get more use out of them and this may lead you to discover that some of these things are no longer working for you. That is okay. It isn’t like you still have everything you started with and aren’t using and bringing more junk home.

Let’s Talk Clutter that isn’t Stuff

We live in the digital age, so we’re bound to have some digital clutter. We will talk about that this week as well. It can be very overwhelming even though it isn’t technically a physical item taking up space.

Did you know there is also mental and emotional clutter? Your mind and emotions can get crowded with unwanted junk from time to time as well. We’ll touch on unpacking that as well.

Gonna Practice What I Preach

It wouldn’t be fair for me to just sit here and type about what clutter is and what to do about it if I didn’t walk through it with you. All this week I will be walking you through my decluttering process in different areas. I will post everything on my Instagram, @alifeonadime, so you can follow along. I will use the hashtag #clutterweek and invite you to do the same as well so we can do this together! This should be fun!

It is amazing even though I thought I did a great job before we moved, while things were in storage, and again as we unpacked I seem to have no problem filling the back of my car every week with random stuff we do not need.

Who’s With Me?

Let’s do this! #clutterweek starts now!


To me, minimalism means less is more:

Less stress

I am no longer stressed out by my stuff. This hasn’t always been true. I’ve spent a good part of my adult life stressed out by stuff. Read my previous post, Beginnings of a More Minimalist Approach for more on that. This includes stressing about what I didn’t have; when I learned to let go of the excess I did have I also learned to let go of the things I thought I had to have.

Today minimalism means I no longer worry and stress about how or when I can buy what I want. I just no longer want most of it. This is a very freeing feeling. When it comes to most wants I can either take it or leave it. It no longer factors into my happiness. A major win here!

Less is more… time

Once I had fewer things to maintain, it meant dusting and cleaning, in general, took up a lot less of my time. Most of what is out is in use. Now that the kids have fewer toys they play with just about EVERYTHING they have! What they don’t play with or age out of promptly goes to the donate box or bag and out of the house.

I can see what I have/find what I need when I open a drawer or cabinet. If I don’t see it I probably don’t have it. The fact that I don’t have it probably doesn’t bother me now. In the past, it oftentimes would.

Less is more of what matters

Now we live in a 1320 square foot house. It is smaller than average maybe, but certainly not tiny and it feels just right for us. I still have a few things to pare down; this is not a one and done approach where you go through one purge and everything is perfectly minimal from there on out. Life changes, kids grow, and priorities get reevaluated. I am able to focus on the people in my house instead of the things. That’s just as it should be.

less is more



a more minimalist approach

I grew up in a household that appreciated a good deal. It’s in my genes to take advantage of a good deal. My grandmother saved almost everything. Everything. Empty cereal bags inside the box were saved and reused. Canned goods were never thrown out. When she eventually moved into a nursing home I can remember finding canned goods in the cupboards older than me. I thought it was interesting at the time. My mother and older relatives must’ve found it completely overwhelming.

Four years ago last month my mother passed away. Years of carefully stored but rarely admired collections, heavily invested-in hobbies that never lasted, half-finished sewing projects, and four closets of clothes that mostly didn’t even fit lay waiting for us to determine their fate.

I had always known this stuff was there. A few years prior she had enlisted my help selling a few large items on Craigslist. She prepared for a yard sale that never happened. In the back of my mind, I knew a lot was still there but once she had passed away and I walked through the house again the effect of the sheer accumulation of stuff that had little to no meaning to those left behind to deal with it after her death affected me profoundly.

From Passive Parsing of Possessions to an all-out Purge

While I had already determined to be more intentional about the items brought into my home and had somewhat attempted to keep things minimal after we had our first child. I didn’t buy a lot but it still accumulated. I kept an empty diaper box around to hold unwanted items for donation.

Suddenly the things I was surrounded by stressed and overwhelmed me to no end. It had to go. I spent entire evenings walking through rooms, grabbing excess stuff, and piling it up to donate. I couldn’t get rid of enough fast enough. Three times my SUV was loaded and three times items were driven to the local Goodwill for donation. This was just the start.

Something had to Change

Going forward I determined that when I pass away my children would not be faced with a mountain of stuff. It just doesn’t seem fair. Living with it myself no longer seemed fair.

In her death, my mother taught me some very painful lessons about who I want to be and how I want to parent. I refuse to ignore my health until it is too late. I will not ignore my finances and tell my children our family’s financial situation is not their business. I will not want to try to buy people’s love or smile and put on a brave face and hide the inner turmoil I face from the world. How depressing that must have been. How overwhelming. How lonely.

I learned more about my mom and even my own start in life after she was gone. In the weeks following my son’s birth, I spent a lot of time sitting by his NICU bed talking with my dad and we were both surprised how much I didn’t know. Things she never thought to tell me. Things I never thought to ask. I made a choice to refuse to hide my true feelings or project my own insecurities on my children. I want them to know and understand me just as well as I know and understand them.

New House, New Rules

When I started packing up our belongings for storage before selling our old house I used the opportunity to discard a lot of unnecessary items. Or rather I thought I did. Despite selling or giving away a few items in storage it seemed to have multiplied behind the storage unit door. It was time to take a more minimalist approach.

What had seemed like careful and strategic efforts to simplify things before I packed fell glaringly short; I had not one, but three meat mashers when I usually opt for a wooden spoon to do the job. Into the donate box they went along with countless other items.

Once the storage unit was completely emptied and its contents scrutinized several trips with my car loaded down and even an entire trailer-load of larger items made the trek to donation centers. Each trip we unloaded unwanted items from our life the figurative weight of it all got a little lighter.

Just Getting Started…

As good as this feels I’m just getting started. My massive inclination to purge my life of excess possessions has helped me see the smaller edits needed in my life. When I spend less time focused on maintenance of stuff I have more time to focus people, myself included. That feels pretty good. Less is better, at least for me. I like having a more minimalist approach to life. Less gives me time for more. I’m still a work in progress, but progress sure feels good.

Even now I am not done. There is an ongoing effort to simplify things. The difference is I feel like I have room to breathe. Our kids can find their stuff. They play with the toys they own. Once the excess was gone I was free to focus on who, rather than what is in my house. That is how my more minimalist approach to life feels. Simply put, it feels good.